SAFE TIME-OUT PLAN
Three Basic Steps to Say when activated:
Step 1 - "I am feeling really tense/angry/upset."
Step 2 - "I am going to take a time out for half an hour."
Step 3 - "When I come back, I'd like to talk about this some more."
Time out is an action taken to keep yourself and others safe and stop you from hurting
or making the situation worse.
There are 5 stages:
After Coming Back From Time Out
Don't start talking again until you reasonably calm. Then:
Basic Communication: the 4 Part Phrase
When you are ready to talk, State the situation:DO NOT USE the "YOU" word
****This is an intelligent way to manage your anger which works as long as you follow it carefully, memorize it and stick to it. It will get you out of all sorts of situations and often get you what you want. Be clear and specific on the act that is bothering you. Don’t attack the person, just state the ACT.
Remember: You don't always get what you want. This is because others have choices too.
Notice small tension in your body, your tone of voice, and level of frustration.
Are you getting activated?
You are now BEHAVING AGGRESSIVE AND PHYSICAL/VERBAL VIOLENCE IS HAPPENING. You are risking to cause serious harm to yourself or to others. STOP EVERYTHING, STOP TALKING AND WALK AWAY IMMEDIATELY - BREATHE!
You are now triggered, yelling, hurtful, and talking does not help.
to cool down for 20 minutes and return only when cooled off.
Try using "I Statements...
Like I feel hurt, I need space..."
ANGER MANAGEMENT SPECIALISTS
A Court Certified Counseling Programs for Santa Barbara County